Ordinary Magic

Why I’m learning to stop waiting for “someday.”

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I don’t let myself have fun very often.

Not intentionally. There just…isn’t really time for it.

I do things I enjoy, yes. But I don’t really go out and do much during my regular life. I always have a nagging feeling that I should be doing something more… productive with my limited free time.

And I hold myself to such a strict standard of behavior. I evaluate every social situation I’m in way more than I probably should. After a lifetime of botching them, I think I’ve overcorrected and monitor myself way too closely to where I’m not always very authentic.

But last week, one of my best friends and I went to Disney, something we planned ages ago, and it struck me.

Whether it was piloting a starship, singing along to Frozen as fake snowflakes floated down on the crowd, walking through replicas of UK streets, or riding a simulation of a banshee flight through Pandora, this overwhelming feeling connected them all.

I don’t stop to see the magic in life.

I’m always planning two or three goals ahead, spending so much time visualizing what “someday” looks like rather than inhabiting what today is.

Now, obviously, Disney is an extremely manufactured form of magic. It’s intentionally awe-inspiring.

But regular life is full of it too.

There’s magic in the way my youngest nephew relaxes against my chest when I rock him to sleep, his little head on my shoulder and the only sound in the house his soft little snores.

There’s magic in laying a blanket on his older brother when he falls asleep watching YouTube at my house, brushing some hair out of his face and knowing he feels safe here.

There’s magic in slow mornings where I wake up and don’t look at my phone right away. Instead, I mix the chocolate syrup into my iced coffee and just breathe in, soft music in the background as I read or write for a while and sunlight casts a warm glow on the living room.

And there’s magic in the feeling of triumph I get when I finish a chapter I’m proud of, knowing I created it and hoping it’ll one day be in a reader’s hands.

You don’t have to be at “the most magical place on earth” to recognize the small moments you overlook every day.

And I really need to do better about taking them in, really basking in them and appreciating that while my setting may be temporary, that feeling of joy doesn’t have to be.

It shouldn’t be.

Life is hard in many ways, and it’s getting harder with everything going on in our country right now, and it’s okay to acknowledge that too.

But it’s also a lot easier if we soak in the pockets of joy where we can.

I don’t think Disney really told me anything I didn’t already know.

My nephew’s always laughed like that.

Writing has always made me feel that way.

And the sun has always filtered in from the blinds like that on my mornings off.

But last week just reminded me I need to stop and appreciate those things.

Because “someday” isn’t right now, and I’d hate to wake up 10 years from now and realize I spent so much time rushing toward the future that I missed out on living the life I’ve worked so hard to build.